Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
