That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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