i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
