Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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