$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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