Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
third nipple confirmed
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
