Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
