When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
