if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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