Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
