eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
