roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
