Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
