shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
