Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
