spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my sisters under your porch take her home
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
