I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
