If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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