it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
