guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
