are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
there is glitter all over my balls
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize