i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We left an ass print on the piano.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
