i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Randomize