worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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