I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
