he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
