idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize