we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
