2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
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