thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
