Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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