I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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