When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
