This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
