I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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