Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
