im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
