What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
