A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
