You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
