do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
