we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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