No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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