somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
