before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
