You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
