So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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