I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I have aggressive nipples.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
