fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
