At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
