He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
