So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
