i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
