East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
