We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Come on in and take your pants off
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