i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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