We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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