So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
