Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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