So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
