All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
