so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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